Race For the Cure

"A" and I walked this morning in the annual Race for the Cure. We took our little, 8 pound Yorkie, Bear. He loves the walk every year. We have walked in it every year since we got married and have every intention of keeping the tradition alive.

I knew it was going to be hard, but I didn't realize how hard. I wasn't "supposed" to be able to walk in it this year, since I was going to be almost 31 weeks pregnant. It's just like all the other reminders of where we would have been in our pregnancy. The events and time lines that were going to be so different. Not to mention all the BABIES. It seemed like everywhere we turned there were babies. Babies in strollers. Babies on shoulders. Babies in wagons. It was hard, but I was doing okay. That is, until I looked over to my right and saw my OB/GYN, Dr. L. I don't blame him for losing any of our babies and I don't have ANY hard feelings, but I do associate that man with loss and pain. As a matter of fact, I have an appointment with a new Dr. next month, because I can't go back to his office. Seeing him made me lose it. It was the last straw. I felt like I couldn't catch my breath (and no, it wasn't from walking!!) and felt like I was going to pass out. Luckily, "A" saw what was happening and he suggested that we stop and let Bear take a water break. The water break gave Dr. L enough time to walk past us and get out of our line of vision. Once again, God Bless the man I married! He saves me so often.

After the race we went to breakfast and had a good time eating and chatting it up. I knew I had one more errand to do before we could go home...I had to go to Hallmark! Now, I love Hallmark and I love sending cards, but buying Mother's Day cards this year was HARD!! The card from "daughters" were right next to the cards for Mothers-to-be and First Time Mothers. It was like I couldn't tear my eyes away from them. At one point I just buried my face in "A's" shirt and cried a little. It was REALLY crowded so I felt pretty conspicuous, but I didn't care. We still had on our Race for the Cure t-shirts and this lady standing near us tapped me on the shoulder. She said, "I notice your pink shirt and wanted you to know that my mom was diagnosed with cancer this year, but I am so blessed to still have her. I am sorry" I think she thought that I was crying because I had lost my mom. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I was crying because I had lost my daughter! I just smiled, patted her hand, and said, "Thank you!"

Now "A" and I are watching movies and marking them off our goal list!

Hope everyone has a blessed Mother's Day tomorrow and know that I am praying for all of the baby loss Mommies tomorrow!!!