Results Are In!!

Well, the results are in. I talked to the Genetic Counselor this afternoon and found out that she had the results from our Genetic Profiling. AND…We are both normal!

I have been so worried about the results. I thought that if something was wrong that we wouldn't be able to have babies with each other and that I may never be able to be pregnant again by my amazing husband. I was also worried that if the results came back "normal" then I would be a little disappointed. That I would still feel like I needed "answers" as to why we had to lose Ella Grace and 2 babies before her. Amazingly, I feel peace. I feel like at this point in my grief journey it doesn't matter what the diagnosis was for Ella Grace. It doesn't matter what the scientific world can offer…I know a truth bigger than any diagnosis. I know that MY God is in control and he is bigger than science and bigger than genes.

Sure, I am glad we had the test done. Now we can move forward and think about trying to get pregnant again without having to worry about our genes messing things up for us. Now I can have some peace to know that I am not going in with a loaded "genetic gun" that is destined to produce more heartache. That is not to say that we will not endure more heartache, I don't know that, but I do know that whatever happens…it's because God is making something great in our lives.

I have so much peace right now and truly feel like this is probably the "happiest" I have been since we lost Ella Grace.

I was thinking about her today after I found out the results and it became more evident than ever. God took her home when it was her time to go. She has a purpose in this life and it was already completed. She has given us so many gifts and it's only been 2 months since we lost her. I can't even imagine how many more she is going to give us in our lifetimes. I also know that if God chooses to give us another chance at being parents, that baby will be in His hands as well.

I think I will sleep good tonight.