Unreal

Sarah Ann inspired me this morning and touched my heart.  She has a Bible verse on today's post that I desperately needed to be reminded of:

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. (Psalms 56:8)

Wow!  Can you believe He promises this?  That I, little ole, insignificant, me can be this important the God.  The Master of the Universe, The Great I AM, The Lord of lords.  It's humbling, amazing, and oh, so comforting! 

Last night a friend on Face.book posted that Angie Smith's book I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy was free at the Barnes & Noble website.  I have been wanting to read this book, but just haven't gotten around to it.  I downloaded it last night and snuggled into bed and started reading.  I didn't get very far, but it was too hard to see the screen through the tears that were pouring down my face. 

I can't say that I understand her pain, because her pain is different than mine, but unfortunately, I can relate to her pain.  I never in a million years would have thought that I could relate to someone who had experienced that kind of pain.  But I can. 

Some days, yesterday was one of them, it doesn't feel real.  It doesn't seem possible that I am a mother of 3 with no kiddos to take care of.  I doesn't seem possible that I gave birth to our Baby Girl, that I have ALWAYS wanted, and I don't get to put bows on her head.  It doesn't seem possible that my sweet, precious "A" and I have experienced and survived the pain that we have. 

Last night, while reading Angie's book I added tears to the God's tear jar.  But, I can take comfort in knowing that He was there with me and he caught each tear as it fell.