Grace

I mentioned before that I had bought 100 Days of Prayer for Women and I have been reading it every morning as a quiet time.  Every day it has a short "message," some quotes from some very wise people and a prayer.  The subjects always seem very relevant to exactly what I need.  Wouldn't you know, this morning I opened the book and the day was on forgiveness.  I have spent the last 2 days consumed with anger and self-righteousness because of this man's behaviors.  I have let it control me.  I even had nightmares about encountering him again.  But you know what I didn't do?  I didn't give it to God.  Don't get me wrong...I am not excusing his behavior...he was in the wrong, but who am I to be his judge?  How often am I in the wrong?  God really spoke to me this morning.  In my quiet time he reminded me that he throwns my sins in the depths of the sea and he even puts up a "NO FISHING" sign! 

Know what else he reminded me of?  Grace.  I say or type or think Ella Grace's name about a thousand times a day, but I rarely stop and think about Grace and the meaning of it.  I wanted her middle name to be Grace for a reason. I have been so covered by Grace that it is only appropriate that my daughter be called by Grace.  I have a sign in my entry that says, "God shed His Grace on thee."  And it's true.  Both Graces (my daughter and His son).  Shouldn't I, in my quest to be more like Him, at least attempt to shed some Grace onto others?!? 

So, yes, this morning I was convicted....HARD!  Am I still struggling not to be angry?  You betcha!  Am I still scared and anxious when I cross the street?  Without doubt!  But I also prayed for the angry man this morning and asked God to do work in my heart.  And I prayed for the counselor and asked God to let me use it as a motivator and a lesson of how to better handle other women when I am put into a similar situation.  Yes, God is doing big things.  He is not finished with me yet and I am scared it's going to be a long, painful process, but I know that His work is beatiful! 

Thank you all for your love, support, and for making me smile through my tears with your anger with me and for me!  You are amazing, strong, brave and spirited women!  My cup runneth over!