Sometimes it just works

I have had a rough couple of days.  The pain from Ella Grace not being here is as acute as it was on 03/04, the day she was delivered straight from her Mommy to her Maker.  The kind of pain that feels like it's crushing your chest and you can't catch your breath and you feel like your insides are turned inside out...the physical pain is tangible.  Yeah, I have been having those kinds of days for a week or so.  Not all day and not every day, mostly it's in the evening when I allow myself to slow down and relax a little, that's when it hits and hits hard.

And then I came across Momastery.  Not really a blog that would shout "Hey, YOU, Baby Loss Mommy who is having a really crappy time dealing with your dead babies, come here and read me!  I will make you feel better."  I really started reading it for a chuckle, because this girl is ha-larious!  Laugh out loud funny, I am telling you.  And then I really started reading and she is not only a funny girl, but she is smart and poignant and deep. 

I was reading along, alternating between tearing up and laughing out loud when I came across this:

**Monkees excuse me for a moment. I need to have a word with one of us.
Hey. You. Yeeeeeeees you. Come here, I need to whisper something to you.
Don’t give up hope. Don’t you dare. Look! Good news! You won’t miss your boat. Your own boat is unmissable. It's gonna be okay.

(P.S. She calls her readers Monkees, I won't explain it...just go read about it!)

Guess what?!  She is right.  I haven't missed my boat I am RIGHT there on it...sailing through it.  No, it's not the boat I thought I was on or even the boat I want to be on, but it is MINE.  God didn't forget me or forsake me or give up on me...and I haven't missed my boat...that would be impossible! 

Now, I know for some of you this is such common sense and you are probably thinking, "Britt, haven't you thought something like this before (like in the this post or in this post, you get the drift)?!?!"

You are right, I have come to this conclusion before, but sometimes I need to remind myself...or better yet be reminded by someone else.  A stranger whose words speak right to your heart and bring tears to your eyes and a little relief to your broken spirit. 



Forever Her Mommy,